i kinda make this world out to be
this mad warzone where people
actually care enough to screw my life up
and where some higher power out there
bother to devote undivided attention
to plotting my doom.
hahahaha
i know, it gets funny, in retrospect,
because, seriously, nothing happens.
nothing really happens, the world passes by,
i tiptoe forward and that's really it.
xmas service this morning just got me into
a repenting cum thanksgiving mood.
yeah my rare camouflaging within my family
feigning religious for soul-spa at church.
i don't think 2009 turned out too bad.
i think i might even own up to being
somewhat happy.
i grew older, i came to terms with myself
and my world, i am more certain
than ever of the people i want to keep,
i learnt to be ok with last-times, and
i was made to take on the first-times.
well yes i'd always imagine first-times
to be like some sort of earthshattering/
crazy/zomgness but i guess,
they sorta turn out kinda yknow, calm.
yeah i must really chill with that
inner dramatic explosion with every lil
shiz in life because most things turn
out ok, all you need to do is breathe.
so yes maybe im happy.
maybe i have a direction and maybe
that's what i need to stay happy.
and even if it'd be scary to execute it.
but maybe i kinda know.
and maybe someday it'll be ok,
like how life is, somehow it'll turn
out ok and the people who matter would
understand.
so yes,
in the scurry of xmas consumerism
may you have a blessed xmas,
remembering the true meaning behind
this day !
5:47 PM